Simplifying Natural Hair Care: What I No Longer Do

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I have been going strong with natural hair since 2008. I can tell you that I have learned some things over the years. Looking back at my old haircare routines makes me want to cringe. I’ve found that simplicity and fewer products have allowed my hair to flourish in unimaginable ways. I was just doing too much back then. Sadly, I must admit, I was caught in the excitement of buying new products. In hindsight, they did absolutely nothing for my hair. Today I’m sharing a few things I just don’t do anymore. They are either pointless, expensive, or a sheer waste of my time. I’m a mom of two now. Motherhood has forced me to assess how I really spend my time. I’ve begun cutting out pieces of my life that were simply just wasting it. I hope you find this info helpful. If any of this resonates with you, please share your feedback in the comment section.

Co-washing

Co-washing just increased my shedding. After co-washing, my scalp felt yucky, full of build-up and it just wasn’t clean. I did it because I hadn’t found any shampoos gentle enough for my hair. My hair has always been sensitive to shampoo. It took a lot of trial and error to find something that cleaned my hair and scalp without causing damage. My hair needed a product it could handle and not feel like straw at the end of the day. Co-washing just caused more build-up and weighed my curls and coils down. My hair lacked volume and shed way more than it should have. I have FINALLY found a gentle shampoo my hair doesn’t hate. If you’re interested, you can check it out here. Note: This is not a sponsored post. I just like helping when I can.

Long-Term Protective Styles

I love a protective style just as much as the next girlie, but I learned my lesson 2 years ago. My edges were literally obliterated from keeping some knotless braids in for two months. This is my personal opinion, but you need to wash your dang hair regularly. I wash once a week. Unfortunately, with a lot of protective styles, you can’t really do that. I just kept that hair in way too long and my edges just paid the price for it. I lost so much hair and the shedding and knots was insane. I thought I got my money’s worth. However, I lost a lot of hair in the end, so did I? I think, no. I’m still trying to rehab and grow it back. If you ask me, don’t keep that protective style in more than a month. Just my opinion.

ACV AS A CLEANSING ALTERNATIVE

Apple Cider Vinegar just didn’t do it for me, ya’ll. My scalp was still dirty. It didn’t cleanse a thing, but what it did do was waste my time. Bottom line, I need a shampoo. I ditched the ACV years ago and just use to soak my fruit in for a good clean. Let’s be honest, everything isn’t for everybody. ACV just wasn’t for my hair. It has other uses though, so it’s not a complete waste.

BENTONITE CLAY MASK FOR CLARIFYING

I just don’t have time to be doing a clay mask on my hair at this point in my life. My life with two kids and being a working mom is hectic. I had to cut all that stuff out. Unfortunately, clay mask was cut quickly. Bentonite Clay masks made my curls and coils pop and shine. However, I found a quicker alternative. It’s a gentle clarifying shampoo you can find here if you’re interested. I clarify about once a month or once every two months. It depends on how my curls are behaving from all the product build-up. My curls pop right back and when they don’t, more than often than not it’s because I need a trim.

LONG HAIR

Another thing I just don’t have time for is long hair or my big fro. I broke down and got another mom cut last December and I don’t regret it not one bit. My wash day is under two hours and that includes detangling and deep conditioning. One day I’ll go back to the big fro, but for now, this is my life. I’m saving time and that’s what matters.

OIL & HOT OIL TREATMENTS

Simply put, I don’t have time for hot oil treatments. Also, the oil weighs my hair down. I end up sacrificing volume. My hair gets dirty much faster when any type of oil is involved. I actually just stopped using oil all together about a year ago. If my ends are a little dry, I add some Avocado or Sweet Almond oil. Still, oil just doesn’t do much. It weighs my hair down and makes it dirty. I decided to cut it out of my routine. That includes hot oil treatments too. I deep condition once a week and that’s enough for my hair right now.

I hope this post was helpful. Most of my decisions have really been based on my lack of time. Motherhood has really forced me to streamline my haircare routine or prioritize the necessities when it comes to my hair. On most wash days, I do the bare minimum. That doesn’t sound great, but it’s just the reality of life as a mom. As a mom you make difficult decisions everyday that put your family at the forefront. I think for now, this is what works. I hope to grow my hair out this year. I might do my big fro again. We’ll see where life takes me.

Till next time.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie

Finding Beauty in Life’s Challenges: A Personal Reflection

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Another year around the sun my friends! If you’ve read my latest IG post, you know this shoot was inspired by the character Isabela Madrigal. She is from the Disney movie, Encanto. Her character development really resonated with me, especially in this particular season in my life. For those who haven’t seen the movie, Isabella has one of the coolest gifts. She makes the world more beautiful with her flowers. Throughout the movie, she is praised for her beauty. Her gift to make things beautiful is also noted. However, one thing that really stuck with me about her character development was her learning two things. Two things can be true at once. There is a point in the movie when her world begins to crumble and challenges arise. Because of these challenges, she is unable to make flowers bloom and starts making weeds and less desirable plants. One lesson I interpret from this character’s story is that life isn’t always beautiful. Family isn’t always beautiful. Trauma happens and life happens. But the weeds and the flowers that life brings us can exist in the same space. They still have meaning and both promote growth and development! I’ve learned that of my grief and joy. They exist in the same space and I’ve grown because of both. May this year be beautiful and may the challenges you face bring growth and meaningful change.

Here’s a few more snaps from this flower filled photoshoot. I hope you enjoy.

Till next time.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie

5 THINGS I’VE BEEN DOING TO PERFECT MY WASH N GO

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Hey everyone! First post of the year and I’m super excited to share. I know, I haven’t been posting much here on this platform, but life is truly happening these days. I will definitely try to post more often here as I know I have some avid readers who love to check in on here and see what I have to say. I want to kick off my first post of the year with an educational post of things I’ve been doing to perfect my wash n go to hairstyle. Since cutting my hair, I’ve learned a few things that are an absolute game changer for me when it comes to getting the perfect wash n go. First, allow me to begin with the basics.

What even is a wash n go?

A wash n go is washing your hair, applying your desired products to your hair and wearing it in it’s natural state without manipulation or altering the natural curl pattern. The pic above is the perfect example of my typical wash n go. This pic was taken a week after my cut. I washed and conditioned my hair, added my products and sat under the hair dryer for about 10 minutes and voila, wash n go activated.

So what makes this wash n go better than any other wash n go’s I’ve done in the past? Glad you asked, keep reading for the 5 things I’ve been doing that have helped me perfect my wash n go routine.

HAIR DETOX

Hair clarification is key to a getting your best wash n go. Invest in a good clarifying shampoo. If you want to take it a step further, invest in a good clarifying hair kit. The beauty of a hair clarifying kit is that it’s typically equip with everything you need to detox your kinks, coils and curls, but also can include other products to protect and prime the hair for clarifying as many veteran curlies know, clarifying can strip the hair dry and leave it a frizzy mess. If you’re looking for a good hair clarifying kit, check out CurlSmith Detox Kit. Not only is this kit worth the spend, it also includes some educational notes about hair detoxing and how often one should do it based on their shampooing regimen and hair type. I read up on this and educated myself about all things clarifying and let me just say, CurlSmith knows what they are talking about. FYI, this is not a sponsored post, I’m just speaking truth. If you’re like me, once a month clarifying is good enough to get the job done. Just remember, wash n gos come out better when you start with a clean head of hair. If your hair is full of build up, you’ll more than likely have a crappy wash n go. So clean those locs first. If you’re not in need of a clarifier on wash day, just do your regular shampoo for best results.

NOTE:

For those asking if co-washing is a good idea prior to the wash n go style, I say that’s a strong maybe. It really all depends on how much build-up you have. If this is the first time you’ve tried clarifying, more than likely your hair is full of build-up. Shampoo most def cleans the hair, but a clarifying shampoo will get everything a regular shampoo cannot. That said, if you’ve never clarified before and plan on doing a wash n go and want amazing results, opt for the clarifying. Please also note, co-washing does not get rid of all your build-up . Some of my best wash n gos come from a freshly shampooed head or freshly clarified head. Co-washing prior to a wash n go style always looks a mess for me. When in doubt, just shampoo your hair.

GET A HAIR CUT OR TRIM

Hair trims are necessary, hair cuts are just cause. If your wash n gos are coming out frizzy, or aren’t as defined as what you’re use to, a hair cut or trim may be what you need. I’ve met women with natural hair who have been holding onto straggling, split ends for years for the sole purpose of maintaining length. Look, I ain’t trying to tell you what to do with your hair, but CUT IT OFF! The longer you wait to do so, the more damage you’ll cause in the long run and what could’ve been a simple trim now has to be a cut. Also, split ends aren’t cute, especially if you’re trying to do a super defined wash n go. Once I cut my hair, my curls just came back to life and have so much bounce it’s insane. I’m not saying cut your hair, I’m saying get regular trims because that’s really how you maintain length. Let go of dead hair and if that means a cut, then so be it. Health over length people.

NO HEAT/ AIR DRY

This may not work for everyone, but this has been working for me. Because I’m home all the time due to the pandemic, I’ve learned that my hair does better when I air dry a wash n go. Yes, it takes forever for it to dry, but the results are 1000 times better than sitting under a hooded dryer. If you can ditch the heat all together, you may see an improvement in your wash n gos. I’d say give it a try. Of course, realistically I can’t do this everyday and do spend a quick 10-20 minutes under a hooded dryer, but when I can, I air dry and the results are amazing.

CHOOSE THE RIGHT PRODUCTS

I’ve been using the same hair custard on my natural hair since 2008. Don’t get it twisted, I’ve tried other gels, creams and custards, but NOTHING and I mean NOTHING, compares to the holy grail of hair custards and that’s Kinky Curly Curling Custard. It meets all of my hair requirements, it’s a jelly/custard texture and consistency, it provides a medium to heavy hold, it’s 100% clean, doesn’t leave my hair crunchy or have that white filmy residue post styling and most importantly, it is easily accessible and can be found at Target, Sally’s Beauty Supply and online. Yes, it’s pricey, but as someone who has narrowed their hair products down to 5 things, I’m okay with paying a few extra bucks. Here’s a list of my 5 hair products used in my weekly routine. This is not including the CurlSmith Detox Kit and Trader Joe’s Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner which I use 1-2 times a month, one for clarifying the other for co-washing.

Shampoo

Deep Conditioner

Leave-in

Oil/Sealer

Styler

NO TOOLS/RAKING AND SHINGLING METHOD

Using my hands as the comb and raking my fingers through my hair to apply the styling product has done wonders for me with frizz control and it gets the curls to stay in place the way I want them to. Your styling technique really makes a big difference in how your wash n go turns out. If raking isn’t working for you, other styling techniques like the praying hands technique or the shingling technique are options. Raking and shingling is just what gets the job done for me. I’ll occasionally do the shingling method, but because my hair is so dense and all the strands are really packed together, styling products get to my individual strands better when I rake and really separate things. Click here for a vid on the raking method. Click here for a vid on the shingling method and click here for a vid on the praying hands method. For my loose curls and waves I’m sure you’re familiar with the scrunch method. That’s also a great option for styling and getting that product in the hair.

NOTE: One thing to note is that everyone’s kinks, curls, coils and waves are different, so having realistic expectations about your hair is key. All the suggested techniques above are what works for me. I love sharing these helpful tips so people can try it out for themselves, but it’s important to keep in mind that all hair types may have different results.

I hope these tips were helpful. Some of this may not work for you, but it has been working very well for me and I thought I’d share as a resource for those who are still trying to perfect their wash n go routine. Other things to consider if your wash n gos still aren’t coming out the way you want them to may include:

Diet & Nutrion

Water In-take

Underlying health condition

Water Quality

Aging Hair

Hair Porosity / Hair Density Considerations

I’m not expert in any of the above listed topics, but these are things I think one should consider if your hair isn’t acting right or seems to not be responding how it typically would to a style like the wash n go you may have done all the time and without fail. Sometimes we overlook what might be happening on the inside of us and it’s so easy to do since hair is an outward feature. When my hair is acting up, I do consider my water in-take and diet and nutrition first. Also, I’m getting older and gray hairs are popping up everywhere and as most of us know, gray hairs can be unruly; it is what it is. I just work with it, but I digress…

Till next time readers.


Sincerely,

Deidra Marie