Yes, you guessed it, these are reasons that I’ve personally been told by people about why I should have another child and I’m here to share why none of these are actually good reasons for having a second child, Also, this post is to just say STOP with this nonsense because none of these reasons make any sense at all.

Let me be clear, none of these reasons are based in any hard truth or facts, it’s just silly things made up by people to justify their intrusive questions and behavior around someone else’s family dynamics. Yes, I get it, I’m sure many people are guilty of saying a few of these things on the list without even thinking about how it really comes off to both families trying to conceive and families that have no plans on trying for another, but no matter how you slice it, none of these reasons are grounded in any real logic and just feed into the idea that families are only complete if you have more than one child. Well, allow me to share a few words with you and debunk these ludacris reasons.

Because your biological clock is ticking / time is running out

This justification is the absolute worse, not to mention, intrusive and rude. What do you know about someone’s biological clock? How does anyone know how much time anyone has? When and if someone decides to have more children, it’s between them, their genetics and their doctor. Mind your own biological clock because you know nothing about theirs.

Because your child will need someone to play with

No, wrong, wrong and wrong. Do daycares not exist? Extracurricular activities? Cousins and family members? Playdates perhaps? Speaking from experience, I am very intentional about my child’s interaction and social time; not just because she is an only child, but because I believe it is critical to her mental health, growth and development.  

Children without siblings are selfish/lonely/don’t know how to share etc…

This is a pretty big generalization don’t you think? I’m not really sure how people can say this stuff and come to these conclusion. Yes, I get it, maybe you have met some children that fall under these categories, but that’s not everyone, come on now. You can’t group all children without siblings into these categories, especially when you don’t even know every person that is an only child.

Because your significant other/or other family member(s) want you to have a second child

This is such a poor justification for having another child. Just because someone wants you to have another child, doesn’t mean you should. At the end of the day, let’s face it, it’s you carrying the child, it’s you birthing the child and, in many cases (particularly moms who are nursing) moms are the main caregivers for said child. No one should feel obligated to have another child because their significant other or a family member wants you to have another one. At the end of the day, it’s your decision too! Not to mention, it’s your body!

Because the second child is always much easier

How can anyone possibly know this. Yes, maybe the person making this statement can speak to their own experience about having a second child that was “much easier” but how could anyone know about someone else’s second child, you know, the one that doesn’t exist, the one nobody has ever met. How can anyone possibly guarantee someone else’s second child would be “much easier” There are too many factors that come into play to really make this justification stick and make sense.

Don’t you want a boy? Don’t you want a girl?

If someone says they don’t want a second child, it literally means just that, it doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or if it’s a girl. A child is a child, no matter how you spin it and if someone says they don’t want another one, take it as just that, girl or boy.

Because once your first child starts walking, that means they are making room for another

And this, ladies and gentlemen, goes down in history as the DUMBEST reason of all the reasons to have another child. I literally don’t even have a comment for this one because it’s that ridiculous. My first child started walking because it was time, that’s it, the end. Where did this logic even come from?

Children are great, but not everyone wants children or wants to have more… and news flash, they don’t have to explain why! To put the icing on the cake, I’m pretty sure they don’t want to hear why they should either. Let’s normalize not asking people when they are having children or trying for more.

That’s all for now.

Sincerely,

Deidra