Just dropping in real quick to share some of my favorite captures from this Christmas. We enjoyed a nice cozy Christmas at home this year. We spent a few hours with my in-laws, but then took the 2-hour journey back home to veg out on the couch and watch holiday movies, courtesy of Hulu and Netflix and let me just say, I’m not mad about it. It’s been a great holiday break full of lots of kid time and family time. It’s been a nice break period. I’ll be starting a new job in a few days, so getting this time to breathe and recoup has been oh so nice. Not sure what 2025 holds, but here we are, taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best.
I know this year has been littered with inconsistent post on this platform, but with everything going on, I haven’t really had time to post as consistently as I’d like to on this platform. If I’m being honest, I’m unsure if I’ll keep this blog going. I’ve been posting to this blog for awhile, but can’t commit as much as I’d like to. Everything is up in the air right now. I’ll keep you posted.
In the meantime, enjoy some fun stay at home holiday pics I snapped last week.
This summer was spent enjoying our new home. It’s been a wet rainy summer and we loved it! I snapped a few shots and captured some fun moments in the house that I never want to forget. I have these moments of sadness throughout the day where I think about my mom and how she will never get to see our new home or see how Baby Si has grown. I have so many moments of nostalgia watching my kids explore our home and the yard and our neighborhood. I think about my childhood home; a condo, in a small beach town. My mom decorated the entire condo coastal theme. She made it a home and now I’m working on doing the same. Our entire upstairs is coastal theme in honor of my mom and her favorite place, the beach. She was from Florida. She wanted her ashes spread at the beach. We plan to do it this month. I’m crying typing this because I know its the end of a season. I’ll never forget my mom, but I have to move forward. This is a representation of a new season, a season of moving forward into new things, new adventures, a new way of life and I’m grateful for this blessing. Even in my sadness and grief, my heart is content, heavy but content.
All sadness aside, I thought I’d share a few snaps of us just enjoying our new space. I hope you enjoy.
Well, I’m back. It’s been a whirlwind start to the year. For those following along on Instagram you know I’m 9 months postpartum. How I have two young kiddos is beyond me. I’m shocked everyday that I produced tiny humans who are just so awesome. I’m a mom. How is this possible? Kids really do surprise you in the best way possible.
I am also a mom without a mom. My mother unexpectedly passed away in December and I’m finally getting back into a routine in this world. I’m sad, all the time I’m sad. I was very very very close to my mother. She was my world and to live in a world without her in it is so odd to me. I can’t say that I’ve fully come to terms with everything. I’m a bit traumatize if I’m really being honest. I watched her die right in front me hooked to so many machines that were helping her breath and live. These days, I’m functioning, doing everything I’m suppose to do, getting back into a routine; being a mom, a wife, a sister, a niece, a colleague. Most days I feel I’m on autopilot. I’m doing all the things, but that’s just it, I’m doing all the things and that’s it, hoping one day my normal feels more normal. Praying it feels normal. I’m responsible for her estate, so grieving seems to be on delay as I take care of her affairs. January and February have been 2 months of navigating estate planning and deciding what to do with the assets she left behind, navigating her private affairs and making big decisions I thought I’d never have to make so young in life. She’s not here for me to asks questions, seek guidance, understand why she did what she did and when it comes to her financial decisions and even her health decisions I still don’t understand and maybe never will.
I’m exhausted, more than likely depressed, but I press on. She made me responsible for things because she trusted me. She use to say to me for years that I would need to take care of everything. She started saying these things to me at around 17 years old. It was subtle at first; random comments that came out of nowhere about saving money for myself, she would say, everything I have is for you, your brother and your sister. She’d say, Deidra, make sure it’s split in thirds. These past two months, I’ve done that. I’ve been fair, logical, I’ve honored her wishes, I’ve settled all the things and now I cry, I cry everyday, mostly at night. I’m crying as I type this. This isn’t my typical post. This is a sad post. I usually share fashion tips, happy life updates, but today, this space is for my grief, for the emptiness I feel, for the sadness that has consumed me over these past few months. I think it’ll be okay, but for now, I’m not okay, and that’s okay. I allow these emotions to come and go as they please because that’s what being human is all about.
Welcome to my grief journey. I hope you’ll stick around.
Coils Curls & Coffee 