A Weekend Recap

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Somehow, I made it through my first dance season with Charlee. I never thought in a million years that I’d be a dance mom. Yet, here I am. I drop her off at dance practices and navigate the complexities of toddler tutu’s and tap shoe sizes. Sidebar, tap shoe sizing for toddlers is crazy. Either Charlee’s feet have grown overnight, or it’s just inconsistent sizing across the board.

We had a busy lineup last week. Charlee graduated pre-k and had her big dance recital. An unsleepover celebration followed, which really just ended up being a bunch of exhausted kids. The parents hoped the next toddler meltdown would end quickly. In any case, me and my dance mom friends survived the weekend and now summer can officially start.

By the way, in between all this craziness, I shot my first dance video for a friend of mine. I don’t do much videography. I really lean into my comfort zone, which is photography and photography editing. However, this was a much needed confidence booster. I’ve never truly seen myself as a videographer. I went to school for communications. I specifically remember my video production professor saying I was a much better actor. He said that videography wasn’t it for me. That stuck with me. I lost the motivation to learn more about it. I lost the motivation to practice and fine tune my problems areas. All that said, I always end up making videos. These are either for clients or brands I’ve worked with in the past. This has forced me to fine tune those weak areas. I did exactly what my professor advised against. I’ve significantly improved since then. It’s a skill set I’m proud to say I have. Lesson for the day…your purpose will follow you no matter what people say. So you might as well do the thing that you aren’t good at. Especially if it’s your calling. Just because others don’t see it, doesn’t mean you can’t work on it. Another lesson, you’re not always going to be good at it the first time you try. You have to keep working at it. Discipline and consistency breeds results

Anyway, didn’t mean to go off on a rant. At my big age, I’m learning so much more. I actually have time to sit with my thoughts. I have children that hold me accountable and are counting on me. This is my favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood. I love that they look to me as the example, but it’s a lot of pressure.

Keep scrolling for even more pics from last week’s shenanigans.

Enjoy!

Until next time, friends!

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie

From Funerals to Family Time: A Weekend Recap

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It was a busy weekend. It consisted of lots of time in the car. We traveled to see family and attended the funeral of Charles’s great aunt. We got in some much needed family time, but it’s no surprised this momma is totally exhausted. Yummy pizza, plant shopping and great scenery make the time spent on the road worth it.

The funeral for his great aunt was beautiful. She was truly an amazing woman and personified joy and optimism. I remember when I first met her. Charles and I had just started dating. She gave me a big hug, handed me $20 and told me to get a cup of ice cream. All I kept thinking to myself was, lady, $20 could get me about 5 cartons of ice cream, LOL. Mind you, this was back in 2006 when grocery prices were significantly lower. You could afford to buy ice along with the essentials, LOL. Ah those were the good ole days. In any case, I was grateful to have known her. She was such a sweet spirit, full of joy. She was always smiling and she would talk your ear off. She was all about spending quality time. She was truly a trailblazer in her own right.

Anyway, I’m dumping a few snaps from the weekend that brought me joy. I hope you enjoy.

Till next time.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie

Simplifying Natural Hair Care: What I No Longer Do

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I have been going strong with natural hair since 2008. I can tell you that I have learned some things over the years. Looking back at my old haircare routines makes me want to cringe. I’ve found that simplicity and fewer products have allowed my hair to flourish in unimaginable ways. I was just doing too much back then. Sadly, I must admit, I was caught in the excitement of buying new products. In hindsight, they did absolutely nothing for my hair. Today I’m sharing a few things I just don’t do anymore. They are either pointless, expensive, or a sheer waste of my time. I’m a mom of two now. Motherhood has forced me to assess how I really spend my time. I’ve begun cutting out pieces of my life that were simply just wasting it. I hope you find this info helpful. If any of this resonates with you, please share your feedback in the comment section.

Co-washing

Co-washing just increased my shedding. After co-washing, my scalp felt yucky, full of build-up and it just wasn’t clean. I did it because I hadn’t found any shampoos gentle enough for my hair. My hair has always been sensitive to shampoo. It took a lot of trial and error to find something that cleaned my hair and scalp without causing damage. My hair needed a product it could handle and not feel like straw at the end of the day. Co-washing just caused more build-up and weighed my curls and coils down. My hair lacked volume and shed way more than it should have. I have FINALLY found a gentle shampoo my hair doesn’t hate. If you’re interested, you can check it out here. Note: This is not a sponsored post. I just like helping when I can.

Long-Term Protective Styles

I love a protective style just as much as the next girlie, but I learned my lesson 2 years ago. My edges were literally obliterated from keeping some knotless braids in for two months. This is my personal opinion, but you need to wash your dang hair regularly. I wash once a week. Unfortunately, with a lot of protective styles, you can’t really do that. I just kept that hair in way too long and my edges just paid the price for it. I lost so much hair and the shedding and knots was insane. I thought I got my money’s worth. However, I lost a lot of hair in the end, so did I? I think, no. I’m still trying to rehab and grow it back. If you ask me, don’t keep that protective style in more than a month. Just my opinion.

ACV AS A CLEANSING ALTERNATIVE

Apple Cider Vinegar just didn’t do it for me, ya’ll. My scalp was still dirty. It didn’t cleanse a thing, but what it did do was waste my time. Bottom line, I need a shampoo. I ditched the ACV years ago and just use to soak my fruit in for a good clean. Let’s be honest, everything isn’t for everybody. ACV just wasn’t for my hair. It has other uses though, so it’s not a complete waste.

BENTONITE CLAY MASK FOR CLARIFYING

I just don’t have time to be doing a clay mask on my hair at this point in my life. My life with two kids and being a working mom is hectic. I had to cut all that stuff out. Unfortunately, clay mask was cut quickly. Bentonite Clay masks made my curls and coils pop and shine. However, I found a quicker alternative. It’s a gentle clarifying shampoo you can find here if you’re interested. I clarify about once a month or once every two months. It depends on how my curls are behaving from all the product build-up. My curls pop right back and when they don’t, more than often than not it’s because I need a trim.

LONG HAIR

Another thing I just don’t have time for is long hair or my big fro. I broke down and got another mom cut last December and I don’t regret it not one bit. My wash day is under two hours and that includes detangling and deep conditioning. One day I’ll go back to the big fro, but for now, this is my life. I’m saving time and that’s what matters.

OIL & HOT OIL TREATMENTS

Simply put, I don’t have time for hot oil treatments. Also, the oil weighs my hair down. I end up sacrificing volume. My hair gets dirty much faster when any type of oil is involved. I actually just stopped using oil all together about a year ago. If my ends are a little dry, I add some Avocado or Sweet Almond oil. Still, oil just doesn’t do much. It weighs my hair down and makes it dirty. I decided to cut it out of my routine. That includes hot oil treatments too. I deep condition once a week and that’s enough for my hair right now.

I hope this post was helpful. Most of my decisions have really been based on my lack of time. Motherhood has really forced me to streamline my haircare routine or prioritize the necessities when it comes to my hair. On most wash days, I do the bare minimum. That doesn’t sound great, but it’s just the reality of life as a mom. As a mom you make difficult decisions everyday that put your family at the forefront. I think for now, this is what works. I hope to grow my hair out this year. I might do my big fro again. We’ll see where life takes me.

Till next time.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie