How I Transformed My Health After Loss

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For those who’ve been following along for a while, you know I lost my mom in December. At that time, I was about 6 months postpartum. I had lost just around 10 lbs of the baby weight. After she passed away, I quickly gained that 10 lbs back and then some. My grief sent me spiraling into some extreme stress eating. By March of 2024, I was done settling my mom’s estate. I had figured out her assets. My body began to truly break down. This resulted in chest tightening and low energy. I also experienced fatigue, insomnia, tension in my body, and hair loss (not related to postpartum hair loss). I experienced one of the worst eczema breakouts I’ve ever had. Mind you, I hadn’t had an eczema breakout this bad since I was 16 years old. Grief sent my body into a tailspin. I was working out and trying to stay active. I only realized what was happening after my eczema breakout. I realized I needed to really focus in on my mental health before truly focusing in on the physical. I wanted to use this post to share some strategies I used. These strategies helped me get back on track and heal my body from the inside out.

I Went to Counseling

Full transparency, I didn’t want to do this, but I did. My husband signed us up and said we’d go together. I did 8 sessions stopped for a bit and went back when I realized it was what I needed. I’m still in counseling. It’s not the cure all, but it’s been helping. I’ve been given this opportunity to talk it out and release. I have gained some strategies for navigating my grief. This is better than what I was doing before, which was NOTHING.

I Started Tracking My Macros

This was new for me. Never have I ever tracked macros. In the past, I just ate what I thought was “healthy” and hoped for the best. If I’m being honest, I didn’t even know what macros were until this year. For those wondering, macros is short for macronutrients, which consist of protein, fat and carbs. Knowing your daily intake of each helps you understand what you need. This fuels your body and helps you reach your goals. This was all a foreign language to me, so I kept it simple. I downloaded the MyFitness Pal App (it’s free) and tracked what I was taking in. This really gave me a glimpse into where I was lacking. It also showed where I was over consuming. Although this wasn’t the goal, it helped me understand my relationship to food a little better. Before this, I was focusing solely on workouts. I gradually switched around some meals. Emphasis on gradually. I increased my protein intake and really got creative with how I was meeting my daily food goals. I don’t track as much now. I have a pretty good idea about how much I need to consume to meet my goals. Still, this was a good starting point for changing my relationship with food.

I Changed My Workout Routine

In the past, I would do a few strength training sessions a week and that was it. I realized it just wasn’t enough anymore. It used to be enough when I was in my 20’s. But, in my 30’s, I realize I need more active time. Now, I do about 2-3 strength training sessions per week. I also include 2-3 days of intentional low intensity cardio, like 30 minutes of walking at an incline. I take the stairs in every building I enter. I park far from stores to fit in a quick walk to my destination. I try to drink lots of water. This forces me to get up from my desk and walk to the restroom. I also started doing walking meetings with colleagues at work. This is especially true if they are just brainstorming sessions. I don’t need a computer for those. One thing I’ve learned is that I need to keep moving. What that looks like for me may change each day. I try to include movement in my day somehow.

I Don’t Restrict Foods

If I want a muffin, I eat a muffin. I don’t feel guilty about what I eat these days because I don’t have to. I had to start telling myself that everything is fine in moderation. In the past, restriction led to extreme cravings. This craving was for the very thing I restricted. It then led to bingeing on that very thing I denied myself. Now, I don’t care. I eat it if I’m craving it. I just include it in my food tracking. This way I’m aware of where I stand with my food intake for the day. Restriction led to failure for me. It also became a breeding ground for guilt. I decided that’s not the relationship I want to have with food anymore. Tracking made it easier to come to terms with what I was consuming and how much I was consuming. This has helped me adjust my mindset on food. I’ve become more strategic about how to consume all the different foods I want. This is what’s working for me and the true root of the problem was addressing the guilt around food.

I Changed My Bedtime Routine

In the past, I doom scrolled. I stayed on social media a lot. I also watched a bunch of stuff on YouTube before bed. Now, simply put, once I put the kids to bed, I don’t watch TV. I give myself a few minutes of screen time on my phone. I set a hard stop for myself, putting my phone up and calling it quits for the night. Before, I just wasn’t sleeping. I stayed up late. I kept finding excuses. I felt like there was no time for myself during the day. The reality is, I find time for myself by getting to bed at a decent hour. Sometimes, this just means laying down with nothing else happening. I had to learn to quiet my mind. I had to sit in silence. I needed to step away from all the things that stimulated me and kept me awake. This has been my version of mindfulness. While this time away from the screen hasn’t always quieted my thoughts, it has minimized them. I allow in fewer new thoughts. I notice that I spend less and less time at night on the phone. I am not creating that space and opportunity for new thoughts or stimulation. My body has gotten used to winding down at a decent hour because of this. This results in more sleep. This doesn’t work every night, but most nights it does and to me, that’s a win.

I Finally Addressed My Adult ADD

I knew for awhile that I might have ADD. Yet, I never looked into it or really understood it. So, I went and officially got diagnosed. I wasn’t really surprised, and neither were any of my family and friends. The diagnosis answered a lot of questions. It put things in perspective about how I deal with life, friends, family, and stressors. Now I’m on a treatment plan that makes addressing all of these things a lot easier.

I Blast Music in The House

In the morning and at night, I help the kids wind down for bath and bedtime. I play contemporary Christian music throughout the house. I feed my soul with God’s music and smooth jazz. No matter what mood I’m in, I fill the house with music that feeds my soul. It quiets my mind. It sets the tone for rest and relaxation. This has been a thing for several months now and it’s a game changer for me.

I Ended Some Friendships

After my moms death, I realized that some friends weren’t really friends or they were friends until things got tough. Some people just drained my energy. Quite frankly, they were not worth my time or energy anymore. So, I ended it, and I’m not sad about it. I think friends come and go like seasons sometimes and that’s okay. It’s life and life is going to life whether you like it or not. Letting go of these friendships has been freeing. It helped me understand the level of effort and energy I was putting into folks that wasn’t reciprocated. I lost physical weight, but I also lost the weight of dead friendships and I’m okay with that.

I hope this post helps someone. I most certainly haven’t arrived at my destination. Still, as I always tell my friends and family, I’m better than I was. Some progress is better than nothing at all. Much of my weight loss during this very difficult year has been mental. It’s been a true battle of the mind. I’ve focused on consistency and discipline and celebrating small wins. I’ve learned to grieve and process experiences. I now acknowledge my toxic coping mechanisms and have been learning new, healthy strategies for making it through the day. I’ve changed my mindset and embraced where I was. This change allows me to truly appreciate where I’m going. I’ll continue to share updates as things progress. Thanks to all of those reading and supporting me throughout this year. I hope where ever you are on your journey you’re finding peace and love. I hope you find the light. I hope the light you find shines bright, bright enough that you see your progress as I have seen mine over the last several months. Even the tiniest steps deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie

Embracing Change: Memories in Our New Home

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This summer was spent enjoying our new home. It’s been a wet rainy summer and we loved it! I snapped a few shots and captured some fun moments in the house that I never want to forget. I have these moments of sadness throughout the day where I think about my mom and how she will never get to see our new home or see how Baby Si has grown. I have so many moments of nostalgia watching my kids explore our home and the yard and our neighborhood. I think about my childhood home; a condo, in a small beach town. My mom decorated the entire condo coastal theme. She made it a home and now I’m working on doing the same. Our entire upstairs is coastal theme in honor of my mom and her favorite place, the beach. She was from Florida. She wanted her ashes spread at the beach. We plan to do it this month. I’m crying typing this because I know its the end of a season. I’ll never forget my mom, but I have to move forward. This is a representation of a new season, a season of moving forward into new things, new adventures, a new way of life and I’m grateful for this blessing. Even in my sadness and grief, my heart is content, heavy but content.

All sadness aside, I thought I’d share a few snaps of us just enjoying our new space. I hope you enjoy.

Till next time.

Sincerely,


Deidra Marie

Alaskan Cruise Tips You Need to Know | Packing, Excursions, and More

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If you read my post last week or have been following along on IG, then you know my first trip to Alaska was an Alaskan cruise. We set sail the third week of July with Royal Caribbean Cruise Line, Brilliance of the Seas. For this cruise, we had 4 days at sea and 3 port stops that included a visit to Sitka, Juneau and Icy Strait Point in Hoonah, Alaska. I’ve been on several cruises before, but none like this and I thought it would be helpful to share a few tips for those planning an Alaskan Cruise or curious about the Alaskan cruise experience. FYI, some of these tips apply to any cruise so take notes.

Tip #1: Compression Packing

Compression packing is far from a new phenomenon to some, but it was to me. In the past, I use to use the roll method for packing, but compression packing is way easier and saves so much more room in my opinion and it keeps your items organized. I decided to do compression packing on this particular cruise simply because I packed a lot of layers that I felt needed to be organized in a way that it would be easy to find and get dress for all the things we wanted to do while on the ship and off the ship. If you’re cruising to Alaska, I highly recommend considering compression packing so you can pack strategically and in a more organized way. Feel free to check out my orange compression packing set from Vera Bradley at: https://glnk.io/91k2o/sincerelydeidra3ua

Tip #2: Skip the Whale Watching Excursions

I know, it sounds completely crazy to say that, but honestly it makes sense, when you’re literally in the middle of the ocean on a cruise ship seeing whales all day long, or at least that was the case for us. We booked a whale watching excursion when we arrived in Juneau and I kid you not, I saw more whales just hanging out on the cruise ship than I did on the actual excursion I booked. Allow me to also mention that, most whale watching excursions have very strict rules for how close you can get to the whales. For our excursion, we had to stay several meters away. Our tour guide explained that it was not just for safety purposes, but also we they kept to this practices as to not disrupt the whales while they’re feeding which is what they do several hours a day this time of year in Alaska. We saw a few fins come out the water on this excursion and saw some water blow up in the air, but that was really it. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea to book one, but what I am saying is, if you’re hanging around on the cruise ship, you will definitely see some whales, so I say, save your coins, but that’s just my experience.

Tip #3 Pack Layers

Look, if you’re cruising to Alaska in the summer, just know that the weather is different depending on where you go so just make life easy on yourself and pack layers. Why layers? Well, you can always take layers off if it gets too hot. In the words of my husband “It’s better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it” In other words if you pack a variety of things you need, you should be good. All that said, I followed a pretty simple formula that made packing for this trip a breeze. Pack short sleeve shirts for each day, long sleeved shirts as your base layer, a medium weight puffer jacket or vest, medium to thick leggings or hiking pants, hat/beanie, sunglasses and a lightweight raincoat. We went to Alaska in July and I can say with full confidence, I used everything I packed except for the gloves. At night, on the ship, it’s cold. If you’re cruising to the glaciers, it’ll be really cold, so the puffer jacket will come in handy, all the other layers are great for excursion days. Below are few links to things I bought and packed for the cruise to get you started:

Long Sleeve Shirts

Medium Weight Puffer Jacket

Beanie

Hiking Pants

Hiking Boots

Lightweight Raincoat

Tip #4: Skip the Cruise Massage

My husband and I have been on several cruises over the years and this is the first cruise we booked a massage, and I can say I really do regret it for several reasons. Massages and many other spa treatments on a cruise are insanely expensive, so unless you have money to blow, I’d say save your coins and do something where you’ll really get more bang for your buck. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to relax on the ship and get a hot stone treatment, but honestly, the ship is full of entertainment and things to do and see; we really could have saved our money for a much cheaper massage back home. Not to mention, the massage therapists spent a part of their time trying to upsell and offer us overpriced products we really didn’t need. Before the massage started, we were asked several times if we’d like to buy stuff. After the massage was finished, we were asked again if we’d be interested in buying certain items. Massages on our cruise were 50 minutes long, very different from the typical 60 minutes you’d get at a standard spa, but I guess the extra 10 minutes is allotted for massage therapist to have the opportunity to upsell, which is exactly what they did. Definitely not judging anyone who opts into this service on the ship, but for me it was a waste and the massage was so so.

Tip #5: You’ll Get the Lobster Tail, Save Your Coins

Many cruise lines have what Royal Caribbean likes to call “My Time Dining”. Essentially, before cruising, you pick a time you and the group you traveled with would like to enjoy a sit-down dinner in their main dining area every night on the cruise. Meals typically consist of a beverage, starter, main entree and dessert. Most meals are included, but for the one’s that aren’t (e.g., lobster tail.) you have to pay extra money which is charged to your tab. I’m here to say that if you want that lobster tail, just wait until the last few days of the cruise where they don’t offer it as an up charge. They typically offer it to everyone as a farewell meal.

Tip #6: Choose Your Cruise Wisely

Look, I had a good time, I really did, but I could’ve done without 4 whole days at sea for a 7 day cruise. After a certain amount of time on the ship, you get antsy and just want to get off. The ship has a lot of entertainment, comedy shows, food, movie showings, dance shows, dance competitions, karaoke, trivia, game shows, exercise classes, bars, rock climbing, Jacuzzi and pools, night clubs and Jumbotron televisions. It seems like a lot, and it is, but there is nothing like having your feet planted on land to do some exploring. If you’re anything like me, you’ll book a cruise with very few days at sea which means more stops and more time on land. If you’re a mover and a shaker, book cruises with only a few days at sea. You can thank me later.

Tip #7: Stick Around to Explore the City of Port

We ported out of Vancouver Canada and the best decision we ever made was to book a one night stay in Vancouver because it really is one of the coolest cities. One full day before porting for the cruise and one full day when arriving back from the cruise was just enough time to explore the city, grab some good eats, check out the attractions and snap some good pics. This tip really goes for any cruise, if it’s a cool port, try to book a one night stay at the port city so you can explore and eat. If you’re not interested in the city you are porting out of, try exploring a surrounding city. My brother and sister in-law did. They flew to Seattle and had a chance to explore Seattle before taking a train to Vancouver to port for the cruise. They said it was a lot of fun and arrived in just enough time to also explore Vancouver. Interested in where we ate while in Vancouver and Alaska, check out my blogpost here.

Tip #8: Save Your Coins, Cruise Excursions are OVERPRICED!

More often than not, cruise excursions are severely overpriced. FYI, this really applies to any cruise you take. The Alaskan excursion prices are the most outrageous prices I’ve ever seen. Plainly put, they have to make their money too, so they can pay their staff and other ship expenses; so what’s the best way to do that? Sell Sell Sell. They sell excursions, they sell clothes and jewelry on a cruise ship, they encourage you to book your next cruise while on the ship at a “deep discounted price” they up charge on fine dining and have art auctions on board, they sell drink packages and spa packages and even charge for things like WIFI. Everything you see on a cruise ship is for sale! They have to make money too. I’ve literally NEVER bought an excursion through a cruise line before and I’ve cruised over 15 times with different cruise lines. The excursion prices on a cruise are ALWAYS more expensive than a local vendor. Don’t get me wrong, it’s tempting to book on the ship because when you’re with a group, or you’re a first time cruisers, you want to have a solid plan in place when you arrive at your destination. When it’s just my husband and I, we freestyle it, meaning we wait to port and go to different street vendors and negotiate excursion prices. And I know what you’re thinking, “that’s not safe”. Most cruise ports are littered with legit excursion vendors who charge way less than the cruise line. Many have partnerships with the cruise line that they never really disclose. If you’re questioning a street vendor, look up their socials, do some research before you consider booking. Locations that rely on tourism to maintain, always have vendors; mostly locals or people native to the area who are more often than not willing to negotiate excursion prices. I’ll tell you who is not negotiating pricing, CRUISE LINES! And if they do, that is new info to me. Long story short, try booking your excursion experience off the ship and save a few coins, especially if you’re booking an excursion for a large group.

Tip #9: You’ll See the Glaciers…From the Ship

Yep, you read that right, the only way to see the glaciers on Inside Passage Alaskan cruises is from the ship. Depending on your cruise itinerary, I suggests waking up early, grabbing your breakfast and heading straight to the top deck to get a good view of the glaciers. It’s a view you will never regret. Sadly, I didn’t get enough pics of these glaciers, because I was too busy enjoying the views and being in the moment. If you’re a photographer, just prepare to have your camera with you EVERYWHERE because you will have the urge to snap landscape shots ALL THE TIME! I cannot lie about this. My 256GB SD was full by the time I got home, if that puts things in perspective.

Tip #10: Don’t Forget to Pack ALL of Your Personals

I cannot stress this enough. This isn’t really specific to Alaska and more for any cruise you take, but, if you forget your personals, you will pay for it and I mean that literally! I forgot my pads and tampons and literally paid $10 for a pack of small pads with like a 12 count on the ship. I was tearing up at the register, literally tearing up because these types of sanitary items are already expensive as heck at a regular price in a store, but boy oh boy, the up charge on a cruise ship for personals is literally INSANE. It almost seems illegal how much they charge for these things on a cruise ship.

Tip #11: Book Your Flights Strategically

We almost always book a one night stay in the city of port. Why? Because if you don’t, you really are taking a chance. Unless you live at the city of port, catching a flight the day of the cruise is pretty risky because of flight cancellations, delays etc.. Not sure if you all remember all the flight delays and cancellations from a few weeks ago (the pic below is hubby and I camping out at an Utah airport for the night) that effected almost every airline. Imagine being in that chaos and missing your cruise because of it. Imagine not having insurance on your cruise and losing out on all that money, shall I go on? Let me also add that the flight going home is just as important as arriving. Don’t book your flight close to the time you port back in the city of port. Why? Glad you asked, well, to make debarking easier, they let people off the ship in groups, this process can take a few hours depending on what group you were assigned. Imagine being the last group and missing a return flight. Give yourself at least 4-6 hours for debarking and getting to the airport. Factor in the group you’re assigned, getting your bags off the ship, customs, locating a place to get transportation to the airport and actually going to the airport etc.. All of this can take hours especially if you’re traveling with young children. It sounds horrible, but this is just standard knowledge not just for Alaskan cruises, but any cruise you take. Look, cruises aren’t for everyone, so if this isn’t your thing, then don’t book a cruise. To put things in perspective, it took us about an hour to get off the Alaskan cruise. We hung out in Vancouver for a few hours before catching a taxi to get to the airport which was roughly a 25 minute drive because of traffic, our flight was delayed 3 times and when we finally got to our connector, the next flight was canceled. We slept in a Utah airport, caught a flight to Detroit that was delayed 4 times then finally got a flight home after waiting 3 hours in a Delta customer service line. FYI, for all of this, Delta refuses to refund us for any of this. Will we fly Delta again, NO, but to my point, prepare for delays and cancellations, even if you don’t think this kind of thing will happen to you. Give yourself time for all the things I listed above and pack your patience because getting off a cruise ship can take some time.

Well, I hope this post was helpful. I’ve been meaning to share an honest post about my cruise experiences and I’m glad I finally did it. It’s been a long time coming if I’m being honest. Remember, cruises aren’t for everyone, but I’m a firm believer in trying things at least once so you can have your own thoughts and opinions on things.

Till next time.

Sincerely,

Deidra Craig