Simplifying Natural Hair Care: What I No Longer Do

I have been going strong with natural hair since 2008. I can tell you that I have learned some things over the years. Looking back at my old haircare routines makes me want to cringe. I’ve found that simplicity and fewer products have allowed my hair to flourish in unimaginable ways. I was just doing too much back then. Sadly, I must admit, I was caught in the excitement of buying new products. In hindsight, they did absolutely nothing for my hair. Today I’m sharing a few things I just don’t do anymore. They are either pointless, expensive, or a sheer waste of my time. I’m a mom of two now. Motherhood has forced me to assess how I really spend my time. I’ve begun cutting out pieces of my life that were simply just wasting it. I hope you find this info helpful. If any of this resonates with you, please share your feedback in the comment section.

Co-washing

Co-washing just increased my shedding. After co-washing, my scalp felt yucky, full of build-up and it just wasn’t clean. I did it because I hadn’t found any shampoos gentle enough for my hair. My hair has always been sensitive to shampoo. It took a lot of trial and error to find something that cleaned my hair and scalp without causing damage. My hair needed a product it could handle and not feel like straw at the end of the day. Co-washing just caused more build-up and weighed my curls and coils down. My hair lacked volume and shed way more than it should have. I have FINALLY found a gentle shampoo my hair doesn’t hate. If you’re interested, you can check it out here. Note: This is not a sponsored post. I just like helping when I can.

Long-Term Protective Styles

I love a protective style just as much as the next girlie, but I learned my lesson 2 years ago. My edges were literally obliterated from keeping some knotless braids in for two months. This is my personal opinion, but you need to wash your dang hair regularly. I wash once a week. Unfortunately, with a lot of protective styles, you can’t really do that. I just kept that hair in way too long and my edges just paid the price for it. I lost so much hair and the shedding and knots was insane. I thought I got my money’s worth. However, I lost a lot of hair in the end, so did I? I think, no. I’m still trying to rehab and grow it back. If you ask me, don’t keep that protective style in more than a month. Just my opinion.

ACV AS A CLEANSING ALTERNATIVE

Apple Cider Vinegar just didn’t do it for me, ya’ll. My scalp was still dirty. It didn’t cleanse a thing, but what it did do was waste my time. Bottom line, I need a shampoo. I ditched the ACV years ago and just use to soak my fruit in for a good clean. Let’s be honest, everything isn’t for everybody. ACV just wasn’t for my hair. It has other uses though, so it’s not a complete waste.

BENTONITE CLAY MASK FOR CLARIFYING

I just don’t have time to be doing a clay mask on my hair at this point in my life. My life with two kids and being a working mom is hectic. I had to cut all that stuff out. Unfortunately, clay mask was cut quickly. Bentonite Clay masks made my curls and coils pop and shine. However, I found a quicker alternative. It’s a gentle clarifying shampoo you can find here if you’re interested. I clarify about once a month or once every two months. It depends on how my curls are behaving from all the product build-up. My curls pop right back and when they don’t, more than often than not it’s because I need a trim.

LONG HAIR

Another thing I just don’t have time for is long hair or my big fro. I broke down and got another mom cut last December and I don’t regret it not one bit. My wash day is under two hours and that includes detangling and deep conditioning. One day I’ll go back to the big fro, but for now, this is my life. I’m saving time and that’s what matters.

OIL & HOT OIL TREATMENTS

Simply put, I don’t have time for hot oil treatments. Also, the oil weighs my hair down. I end up sacrificing volume. My hair gets dirty much faster when any type of oil is involved. I actually just stopped using oil all together about a year ago. If my ends are a little dry, I add some Avocado or Sweet Almond oil. Still, oil just doesn’t do much. It weighs my hair down and makes it dirty. I decided to cut it out of my routine. That includes hot oil treatments too. I deep condition once a week and that’s enough for my hair right now.

I hope this post was helpful. Most of my decisions have really been based on my lack of time. Motherhood has really forced me to streamline my haircare routine or prioritize the necessities when it comes to my hair. On most wash days, I do the bare minimum. That doesn’t sound great, but it’s just the reality of life as a mom. As a mom you make difficult decisions everyday that put your family at the forefront. I think for now, this is what works. I hope to grow my hair out this year. I might do my big fro again. We’ll see where life takes me.

Till next time.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie


Capturing Family Moments: Our Tennis-Themed Photoshoot

Charles and I are photographers. If you’ve been following along for awhile, then you know we’ve been shooting clients since around 2015. Business has slowed down since having kids. We typically shoot around 5-10 clients per year. We also take on a handful of brand shoots when the time allows. Since Charlee was born, we’ve taken quarterly family photos using a tripod. This year, I let Charlee pick the family photos theme. She’s a bit obsessed with tennis and pickleball right now. She loves pink, so that’s what she went with this time around.

This shoot was a lot of fun. We captured as many shots as we could and just let the kids run around and wear themselves out.

Drop all my favorite shots below for all the folks living off Instagram and experiencing the real world, lol.

Till next time beautiful people.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie


Memorable Moments at Our Favorite Hotel

In 2020, we started a random tradition. We would travel a few hours away to our favorite hotel to just get away. It gave us a chance to see some new scenery. We were in COVID lockdown so we did a lot of day trips and it has stuck. Our first trip to this hotel was when it was under some serious construction. We brought a 7 week old Charlee along for our Ballantyne adventure. We stayed in the room, vegged out on the couch and watched way too much TV. Did some thrift shopping, saw a few sights then went home. This year we took both kiddos. We let them enjoy the facilities’ new amenities. We vegged out on the couch and watched way too much TV. We met up with a dear friend and then went home, LOL. I love this family I’ve built. I love the traditions we are setting in place. I hope they continue for years to come. Life is evolving, but we always seem to come back to the familiar. It may look different, but different is good. Different just means change. Change means growth. Growth means you’re still moving ahead.

I hope you all had a good long MLK weekend. Enjoy a few snaps I captured of the tiny humans enjoying all the plushy things.

Till next time.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie