For those who’ve been following along for a while, you know I lost my mom in December. At that time, I was about 6 months postpartum. I had lost just around 10 lbs of the baby weight. After she passed away, I quickly gained that 10 lbs back and then some. My grief sent me spiraling into some extreme stress eating. By March of 2024, I was done settling my mom’s estate. I had figured out her assets. My body began to truly break down. This resulted in chest tightening and low energy. I also experienced fatigue, insomnia, tension in my body, and hair loss (not related to postpartum hair loss). I experienced one of the worst eczema breakouts I’ve ever had. Mind you, I hadn’t had an eczema breakout this bad since I was 16 years old. Grief sent my body into a tailspin. I was working out and trying to stay active. I only realized what was happening after my eczema breakout. I realized I needed to really focus in on my mental health before truly focusing in on the physical. I wanted to use this post to share some strategies I used. These strategies helped me get back on track and heal my body from the inside out.

I Went to Counseling

Full transparency, I didn’t want to do this, but I did. My husband signed us up and said we’d go together. I did 8 sessions stopped for a bit and went back when I realized it was what I needed. I’m still in counseling. It’s not the cure all, but it’s been helping. I’ve been given this opportunity to talk it out and release. I have gained some strategies for navigating my grief. This is better than what I was doing before, which was NOTHING.

I Started Tracking My Macros

This was new for me. Never have I ever tracked macros. In the past, I just ate what I thought was “healthy” and hoped for the best. If I’m being honest, I didn’t even know what macros were until this year. For those wondering, macros is short for macronutrients, which consist of protein, fat and carbs. Knowing your daily intake of each helps you understand what you need. This fuels your body and helps you reach your goals. This was all a foreign language to me, so I kept it simple. I downloaded the MyFitness Pal App (it’s free) and tracked what I was taking in. This really gave me a glimpse into where I was lacking. It also showed where I was over consuming. Although this wasn’t the goal, it helped me understand my relationship to food a little better. Before this, I was focusing solely on workouts. I gradually switched around some meals. Emphasis on gradually. I increased my protein intake and really got creative with how I was meeting my daily food goals. I don’t track as much now. I have a pretty good idea about how much I need to consume to meet my goals. Still, this was a good starting point for changing my relationship with food.

I Changed My Workout Routine

In the past, I would do a few strength training sessions a week and that was it. I realized it just wasn’t enough anymore. It used to be enough when I was in my 20’s. But, in my 30’s, I realize I need more active time. Now, I do about 2-3 strength training sessions per week. I also include 2-3 days of intentional low intensity cardio, like 30 minutes of walking at an incline. I take the stairs in every building I enter. I park far from stores to fit in a quick walk to my destination. I try to drink lots of water. This forces me to get up from my desk and walk to the restroom. I also started doing walking meetings with colleagues at work. This is especially true if they are just brainstorming sessions. I don’t need a computer for those. One thing I’ve learned is that I need to keep moving. What that looks like for me may change each day. I try to include movement in my day somehow.

I Don’t Restrict Foods

If I want a muffin, I eat a muffin. I don’t feel guilty about what I eat these days because I don’t have to. I had to start telling myself that everything is fine in moderation. In the past, restriction led to extreme cravings. This craving was for the very thing I restricted. It then led to bingeing on that very thing I denied myself. Now, I don’t care. I eat it if I’m craving it. I just include it in my food tracking. This way I’m aware of where I stand with my food intake for the day. Restriction led to failure for me. It also became a breeding ground for guilt. I decided that’s not the relationship I want to have with food anymore. Tracking made it easier to come to terms with what I was consuming and how much I was consuming. This has helped me adjust my mindset on food. I’ve become more strategic about how to consume all the different foods I want. This is what’s working for me and the true root of the problem was addressing the guilt around food.

I Changed My Bedtime Routine

In the past, I doom scrolled. I stayed on social media a lot. I also watched a bunch of stuff on YouTube before bed. Now, simply put, once I put the kids to bed, I don’t watch TV. I give myself a few minutes of screen time on my phone. I set a hard stop for myself, putting my phone up and calling it quits for the night. Before, I just wasn’t sleeping. I stayed up late. I kept finding excuses. I felt like there was no time for myself during the day. The reality is, I find time for myself by getting to bed at a decent hour. Sometimes, this just means laying down with nothing else happening. I had to learn to quiet my mind. I had to sit in silence. I needed to step away from all the things that stimulated me and kept me awake. This has been my version of mindfulness. While this time away from the screen hasn’t always quieted my thoughts, it has minimized them. I allow in fewer new thoughts. I notice that I spend less and less time at night on the phone. I am not creating that space and opportunity for new thoughts or stimulation. My body has gotten used to winding down at a decent hour because of this. This results in more sleep. This doesn’t work every night, but most nights it does and to me, that’s a win.

I Finally Addressed My Adult ADD

I knew for awhile that I might have ADD. Yet, I never looked into it or really understood it. So, I went and officially got diagnosed. I wasn’t really surprised, and neither were any of my family and friends. The diagnosis answered a lot of questions. It put things in perspective about how I deal with life, friends, family, and stressors. Now I’m on a treatment plan that makes addressing all of these things a lot easier.

I Blast Music in The House

In the morning and at night, I help the kids wind down for bath and bedtime. I play contemporary Christian music throughout the house. I feed my soul with God’s music and smooth jazz. No matter what mood I’m in, I fill the house with music that feeds my soul. It quiets my mind. It sets the tone for rest and relaxation. This has been a thing for several months now and it’s a game changer for me.

I Ended Some Friendships

After my moms death, I realized that some friends weren’t really friends or they were friends until things got tough. Some people just drained my energy. Quite frankly, they were not worth my time or energy anymore. So, I ended it, and I’m not sad about it. I think friends come and go like seasons sometimes and that’s okay. It’s life and life is going to life whether you like it or not. Letting go of these friendships has been freeing. It helped me understand the level of effort and energy I was putting into folks that wasn’t reciprocated. I lost physical weight, but I also lost the weight of dead friendships and I’m okay with that.

I hope this post helps someone. I most certainly haven’t arrived at my destination. Still, as I always tell my friends and family, I’m better than I was. Some progress is better than nothing at all. Much of my weight loss during this very difficult year has been mental. It’s been a true battle of the mind. I’ve focused on consistency and discipline and celebrating small wins. I’ve learned to grieve and process experiences. I now acknowledge my toxic coping mechanisms and have been learning new, healthy strategies for making it through the day. I’ve changed my mindset and embraced where I was. This change allows me to truly appreciate where I’m going. I’ll continue to share updates as things progress. Thanks to all of those reading and supporting me throughout this year. I hope where ever you are on your journey you’re finding peace and love. I hope you find the light. I hope the light you find shines bright, bright enough that you see your progress as I have seen mine over the last several months. Even the tiniest steps deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated.

Sincerely,

Deidra Marie