All vaccinated and now we can finally spend sometime with my husbands side of the family. My heart is full because Charlee was able to bond with her grandparents, aunt and cousins. I literally wasn’t sure when and if this would EVER happen and when it did all I could do was snap pic after pic after pic to remember the moments and cherish every bit of the time we have with family.
The pandemic has taken so much from me, but has allowed me to learn to cherish the moments we do have and live in the now. Life moves so fast and COVID has certainly slowed it all down in so many ways. I think human connection is deeper these days. Moments with loved ones seem not only nostalgic, but meaningful, rare and sometimes desperate when it’s been so long. I don’t desire to ever go back to life as “normal” so to speak. Normal for me implies taking moments like last weekend for granted simply because we see family all the time. Normal looks like the fast paced city life we use to live. Long endless nights out with friends spending money carelessly at overpriced movie theaters and millennial type food spots with eclectic menus options of food that I could clearly cook at home. Back to normal means working on the weekends and dragging myself into an office with no window or sunlight, glued to a computer for hours only to realize I missed lunch, but don’t have time to grab a bite because of 2 or 3 upcoming meetings.
Keep reading, I’m not done blabbing…:)
Normal was never really normal. In fact, normal was abnormal, a life I created for myself where Charlee didn’t exist at that time, merely an embryo we knew nothing about as hiked and explored the deepest most lush rainforests of Costa Rica. Life was selfish for us and foolish spending was at the forefront and I worked 7 days a week to justify this spending. Looking back on it all, the pandemic was a bit of a blessing. I spent a whole pregnancy in quarantine and wouldn’t have it any other way. It was relaxing! I was more conscious about my health, aware of all the changes happening with my body, desperate for the hug of family members, craving human connection as opposed to fleeting moments with friends that led to nothing. Desiring peace in the midst of social justice war and political outrage and the overall downfall of a governmental infrastructure infected by greed, racism, painful lies and injustice. The pandemic has allowed me to feel things, instead of being too busy to acknowledge emotions that we as humans should reflect on, deal with and navigate in a healthy way. I feel something these days. I feel change, fear some days, anxiety on other days, but I feel love on the deepest level possible mixed with a sense of newness, new beginnings, a refresh so to speak, healing and peace beyond measure all at the same time.
My to do list is pretty simple these days, live life, be apart of it, be so overwhelming involved in it that you don’t remember a way out and love so deeply that your heart feels like it could explode.
That’s it everyone. That’s all I got for you today. Enjoy the rest of my garden family photos, I know I did.