Yes, you guessed it, these are reasons that I’ve personally been told by people about why I should have another child and I’m here to share why none of these are actually good reasons for having a second child, Also, this post is to just say STOP with this nonsense because none of these reasons make any sense at all.

Let me be clear, none of these reasons are based in any hard truth or facts, it’s just silly things made up by people to justify their intrusive questions and behavior around someone else’s family dynamics. Yes, I get it, I’m sure many people are guilty of saying a few of these things on the list without even thinking about how it really comes off to both families trying to conceive and families that have no plans on trying for another, but no matter how you slice it, none of these reasons are grounded in any real logic and just feed into the idea that families are only complete if you have more than one child. Well, allow me to share a few words with you and debunk these ludacris reasons.

Because your biological clock is ticking / time is running out

This justification is the absolute worse, not to mention, intrusive and rude. What do you know about someone’s biological clock? How does anyone know how much time anyone has? When and if someone decides to have more children, it’s between them, their genetics and their doctor. Mind your own biological clock because you know nothing about theirs.

Because your child will need someone to play with

No, wrong, wrong and wrong. Do daycares not exist? Extracurricular activities? Cousins and family members? Playdates perhaps? Speaking from experience, I am very intentional about my child’s interaction and social time; not just because she is an only child, but because I believe it is critical to her mental health, growth and development.  

Children without siblings are selfish/lonely/don’t know how to share etc…

This is a pretty big generalization don’t you think? I’m not really sure how people can say this stuff and come to these conclusion. Yes, I get it, maybe you have met some children that fall under these categories, but that’s not everyone, come on now. You can’t group all children without siblings into these categories, especially when you don’t even know every person that is an only child.

Because your significant other/or other family member(s) want you to have a second child

This is such a poor justification for having another child. Just because someone wants you to have another child, doesn’t mean you should. At the end of the day, let’s face it, it’s you carrying the child, it’s you birthing the child and, in many cases (particularly moms who are nursing) moms are the main caregivers for said child. No one should feel obligated to have another child because their significant other or a family member wants you to have another one. At the end of the day, it’s your decision too! Not to mention, it’s your body!

Because the second child is always much easier

How can anyone possibly know this. Yes, maybe the person making this statement can speak to their own experience about having a second child that was “much easier” but how could anyone know about someone else’s second child, you know, the one that doesn’t exist, the one nobody has ever met. How can anyone possibly guarantee someone else’s second child would be “much easier” There are too many factors that come into play to really make this justification stick and make sense.

Don’t you want a boy? Don’t you want a girl?

If someone says they don’t want a second child, it literally means just that, it doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or if it’s a girl. A child is a child, no matter how you spin it and if someone says they don’t want another one, take it as just that, girl or boy.

Because once your first child starts walking, that means they are making room for another

And this, ladies and gentlemen, goes down in history as the DUMBEST reason of all the reasons to have another child. I literally don’t even have a comment for this one because it’s that ridiculous. My first child started walking because it was time, that’s it, the end. Where did this logic even come from?

Children are great, but not everyone wants children or wants to have more… and news flash, they don’t have to explain why! To put the icing on the cake, I’m pretty sure they don’t want to hear why they should either. Let’s normalize not asking people when they are having children or trying for more.

That’s all for now.




Last week was a trying week in the influencer bloggerverse for me. I’ve received email after email from brands who say they can’t compensate me for my work or brands who don’t email back after I’ve requested compensation for my work. I’ve been very successful in turning some of this around, negotiating deals that are beneficial for both parties and working towards helping brands better understand why even nano-influencers like myself deserve to be paid. Keep reading for 7 don’ts I have for brands. Brands and partners, if you’re reading this, I hope this helps you better understand why we ALL deserve to be compensated, treated fairly and valued for the work we do.

Dear Brands,

Don’t unfollow me because I asked for compensation for my content. We can still support each other as you work towards gaining the funds to compensate influencers such as myself. My work has value to, clearly you saw that when you checked my page out and started following me. Keep that same energy even after I ask for a fair wage.

Don’t ask for my media kit with rates if you never intended on paying me or even negotiating terms with me in the first place. My media kit is reserved for brands and partners that value me and my work and want to invest in that work and understand it’s important that partnerships they reach out about should be mutually beneficial for both parties so stop asking for my media kit unless you’re really interested in doing business with me.

Don’t assume that if I’m asking to be compensated for my work that I’m not willing to negotiate terms. If you give me the time of day, we can work out something that’s mutually beneficial for both parties. That may or may not include payment.

Don’t ghost me when I ask to be compensated for my quality content. It’s unprofessional and quite frankly, disrespectful. Send a quick email back letting me know you’re unable to provide payment for my services at this time. It takes you no time to do that and when you don’t, you wasted my time and make very clear that professionalism isn’t something your brand actually values!

Don’t wonder or ask why I’m requesting compensation. The resources used to create the content your requesting isn’t free, so why should my content be?

Don’t one-off me, and if this is a one time deal, be upfront! While compensation is important to me, so is building strong relationships with brands that genuinely care about my content and what I have to say, so if this is a one- off partnership, just say so. Making your expectations clear from the beginning really sets the stage for how you truly run your business and leaves no room for questioning brand intentions.

Don’t ask for 5,000 deliverables, but offer an unfair wage for it. The content you’re requesting takes time, money, and effort to make and when you offer an unfair wage, it really speaks to how much or how little you value the process and all it takes to create said content.

I had to get this off my chest because we’re all trying to build a brand here and at some junction you have to know that in order to make money you have to spend money. We’re all trying here and you have to really weigh your investments, but I refuse to continue providing quality work for no pay or unfair pay or providing quality work to brands without something (paid or unpaid) that shows they care. Sometimes, free products and exposure isn’t enough. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a free partnership, but if that’s what a brand wants, I really need it to be beneficial to my brand as well. Let’s be fair, let’s be equal and let’s build relationships on the foundation of that fair and equal mindset. Influencers, we have to take time to understand our worth and work with brands that do too! It’s not all about the money. What I care most about is that my work is valued and my voice is heard and I shouldn’t have to yell to the rooftops for brands to understand that I’m worthy too.

Till next time.


Deidra Marie


By the looks of these pictures it looks like it’s really a vacation for Charlee and that’s because it was a vacation for Charlee, LOL. One thing I’m realizing as a parent is that your happiness is really their happiness. If your kid is happy that’s really all that matters and hence you’re happy. Or maybe that’s just me. In any case, my kid was happy lounging around on a plush hotel bed for 2 days, and as a sleep deprived mom, I wasn’t complaining about it, so win win over here. Honestly, we knew what this getaway was gonna be. We had every intention on hiding away in hotel and enjoying over priced room service and binge watching whatever the heck was on television. Just getting away was the real goal and while 10 years of marriage is a big deal and should be celebrated, having the little one tag along wasn’t so bad. She basically slept the whole time anyway. I don’t think she had a clue we were in a different place, let alone a different city. I mean, at her age, the only thing she really cares about is a dry diaper and a warm bottle, oh the joys of being a baby, not a care in the world, LOL. 😂

Anyway, we started are morning off with the tastiest breakfast from the hotel’s restaurant. Room service of course. I snapped a gajillion pics before we devoured every bite, then headed out on the town for some fresh air and thrift shopping. We would stop by a store, one of us would stay in the car with Charlee while the other shopped then we’d switch. We just didn’t feel comfortable strolling Charlee around in public places during a global pandemic, so we thought this was the best way for now. So I guess you can say Charlee didn’t really see Charlotte. Even if we did get out with her, she literally slept the whole time we were out, newborns, gotta love it. I tell ya, when their up they just want you to fulfill a few basic needs, pay attention to them for a few minutes then they are ready to nap again. Sounds simple, huh? Well try playing with a newborn at 3AM on a Tuesday night knowing you got work in just a few more hours and you’re running off of 3 hours of sleep. This is my story, this is my song ladies and gentlemen, LOL 😂….

In any case, we enjoyed our time lounging around on the plush bed at the Ballantyne. Once little Charleekins is up and walking and talking, I’m sure we’ll be back to enjoy Charlotte and perhaps this hotel in a more exciting capacity. For now, I’m just grateful Charlee was up long enough so we could snap some pics of her in her element. She’s already so curious about the world, of course this is when she’s awake for 1 hour in between her 4 hour naps. Keep in mind, newborns sleep about 14-16 hours a day so getting pics of her up and smiling was a rare occurrence and definitely the only anniversary gift I actually needed. By the way, this new mom here is amazed at how fast they grow. I swear she doesn’t even look like this anymore and it’s literally only been two weeks. I’m stuck in this battle between wanting her to grow up so I can talk with her and do more activities with her and wanting her to stay a baby so I can cuddle with her and hold her. I imagine after a certain age I doubt they’ll want to cuddle and be held so I’m getting all the cuddles in now while she’s small and trying to figure out the world.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the last bit of pics from our stay at the Ballantyne and hope you enjoyed this photo album. Here’s motherhood, and 10 years with the best husband and dad EVER. Keep scrolling for more Charlee pics and enjoy!

Till next time.


Deidra Marie